Thursday, July 21, 2011

002 ♬ ♪ the world is mad.

far too often I complain about life; about how people could be a total bitch, about how first impressions are all bullshit, about how selfish some people could be. far too often I imagine myself to be completely selfless when in fact, I'd always, maybe most of the time I'd choose a decision that would favor myself. life is ironic really; you gotta feel the pain to really appreciate happiness. you gotta feel the absence to really appreciate presence. I guess life really works that way. I've matured at one point, somewhere somehow.

I keep reminding myself to notice kindness, to love more, to hate less, to count blessings instead of dwelling on bad things— but I wonder why do I keep failing to do so? just exactly what went wrong? I wonder.

what is this heartache? am I being too sensitive? or is it the world is just too harsh for a delicate soul like me? maybe that's why I keep getting hurt; by words, unspoken words, judgemental glares, indifferent actions, killing silences.

I'm a coward living in a judgemental world.

yes, I'm scared of being judge. I'm scared of what other people might think eventhough I  know very well that they don't do it very often, still.

I faked laughs, smiles.

just because I know other people do just the same.

now that I think of it, I'm really living in the flow. wait, maybe this flow is too fast for me—I'm drowning.

I'm drowning.

I'm drowning.

I'm drowning.

pardon me. I'm such an awkward blogger.

♥ about this blog

this is officially the third place for me to rant, ramble ...and gurgle after my diary and my livejournal. welcome!

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